He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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