dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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