I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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