I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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