Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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