i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
