Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
how drunk are you?
Several
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
