I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize