At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
