Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
