Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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