This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
