Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
