I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
