he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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