You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
