If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
