If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I FOUND THE LEGS
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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