Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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