Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
