he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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