well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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