Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
3 2 1 whiskey
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
