in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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