i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
