you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
