who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
