Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
