Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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