what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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