"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
