somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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