its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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