if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
