I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
