we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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