There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
