She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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