ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
