***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
