So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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