Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
