Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
