how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
