you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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