I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
At least life still wants to fuck me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
