Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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