I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
