I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did i walk over a car last night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
