You surviving the open bar?
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non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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