Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
