so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
