ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
