You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
