Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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