...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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