Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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