All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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