we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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