Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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