Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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