I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
