I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
