I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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