he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
