You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how can u be prego again
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dignity is for republicans.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
