OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
