I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
