his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
