I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize