Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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