so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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